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Sasquatch and Cannabis


hiflier

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Guest Cryptic Megafauna
On 7/29/2016 at 4:26 PM, guyzonthropus said:

The mushrooms would certainly have an effect. Parodies noted reports of the BF's eating mushrooms in the Hoopa region, or that locals thought they do...so if they're already picking specific species then they may have a more extensive mycological knowledge than we suspect. 

  While I don't know if any psilocybin/amanita species are indigenous to every area frequented by BF's, perhaps that's what all the migration is about, or even the reported trading with NA' s in the past.

It's been postulated that humans actually developed basic agricultural techniques in order to provide supplies of psychotropic plants for their shamans, so who's to say BF aren't "Party Mushroomspore"s of a sort?

 

Maybe it all started when some UC Humboldt grad student was trying to come up with unique items for gifting the forest giants out behind the dorms....

"If this doesn't get their attention, I give up!"   Months later he's out placing mason jars, agar kits, and works by Huxley out on tree stumps....let the games begin! That's when they really started playing with our minds!

Amanita would more likely kill them.

You need to bake it first to destroy the toxin and even then you can have a negative reaction to the hallucinogen.

 

Mushrooms being so hard to ID with so many poisonous varieties old Bigfoot would need an encyclopedic knowledge base and a scientific testing paradigm to avoid disaster which means he would need a bigger brain...

 

  

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I have to think a BF's sense of smell might be capable of differentiation of edible VS non edible mushrooms.     Humans have basically destroyed our natural sense of smell with strong artificial scents.      Dogs are capable of incredible abilities to sense diabetic issues,  detect cancer,  and locate illegal substances.    If BF is half way between us and a dog it might be very capable.     I have a lot of wild rabbits in my yard.   One particular flop eared one digs for something that I suspect is some sort of mushroom.   He makes small shallow holes all over my yard digging out something good.   Maybe he is a truffle bunny or something.  I know one edible truffle can be found in the NW woods.  

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25 minutes ago, guyzonthropus said:

"Truffle Bunny" I love it!

Admit it, that's what the telepathic bigfoot calls you as you drift off to sleep at night.

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Well, it's a bit cuter than "dinner" or "my little marshmallow" at least. A BF with the munchies could mean a peck o' trouble.

Edited by hiflier
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If that's what they wanna call me, that's just fine...kinda analogous to "where does a 600 lb gorilla sleep? Anywhere it wants to!"

And as hiflier so aptly pointed out, it beats the heck outta "dinner" or even "snack"!

 

After all, why do you think every 7-11 is thoroughly equipped with exterior lights and multiple cameras? Not for theft prevention and recording, no! It's in the event of the "locals" getting a new bag of the dank, and the subsequent munchy-run.

 

Early tests showed that closed cirucuit cameras work just as well as the trail/game cameras in BF-based loss prevention systems.

"Yeah...we used to lose about a case of Hostess, a case of Lays chips, and a box or two of the Haagen-Daaz, not to mention the slurpy machine getting drained("surprising just how much slurpy one of those things can take before the slurpy-freeze effect hits 'em, but boy, when it does, ya oughta hear 'em howling and a screamin', then all the other ones start laughing, until the next one ponies up for its turn...it's like the cold don't much phase em like it does us..")every week or so until we put in the cameras, now they still come in from the woods, but just hang out at the edge of the parking lot...it's funny cuz some times you can see em staring real hard then put their hands up to there temples like they're trying to bust up the cameras with their minds, like they did  the first week, but we installed an anti-psionic resonance filter from radio shack that seems to do the trick, bugs the heck outta them!

It's funny, but with all the Hostess stuff   used to  take, they always left the snowballs, and those pink things, but them ho-ho' s and ding dongs were gone like n'body's business, don't know how they got such a hankering for those in particular, maybe some fool camper thought it'd be funny to snap a shot of one stuffing a foil wrapped treat into its face like some b&r Idaho local..bet he was sorry though when either the flash went off, or when he realized the box was empty! 'Sorry big fella, ain't no mo-aaahhhhhhhhhhhh!' The world's a self cleaning oven like that, yknow?

But yeah, sure'nuff, once we got them cameras in they keep their distance, although, some customers tells me that as they're getting outta their car, they swear they hear this voice in their head tellin' em to buy a box of ding dongs and a party size bag of sour cream and onion chips and to leave em at the far side of the parking lot, followed by giggling...some do some don't..Sure them guys are a bit of a hassle, but theys sure a lot better than those dust-head dogmen we used to have around here!" 

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Can't say I blame 'em. Doesn't take a Cordon Bleu palate to turn town those cupcakes with that pink rubber whatever-the-heck-it-is on top. That store owner ain't to bright either. I would run a row of ding dongs down the basement stairs and when Ol' Stinky heads for the last one slam the door and call the media. All the while aiming a game camera at his buddies and watching them skedaddle like vampires from the daylight. Nobody can say ol' hiflier hadn't learnt a thing or two here on the Forum

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Just a tidbit.  If you mix alcohol (beer) with a carboxylate (Twinkie filling) under acidic conditions (stomach acid), you produce an ester (wax).

 

So keep your Twinkies out of your beer.

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JDL- you have no idea just how much that explains......lol

 

And hiflier, seeing you come up with that plan just like that proves sure'nuff you been a alearning! I'd think most times it'd take one of them mountain monster hunters to brain up something that clever! See, youse thinkin like the professionals now!

But as I heard it, the manager's cousin, Joe Billy," come up with a pretty much like yours there kinda plan, his self, but hadn't figured the timing of the door part and he also didn't figure on his girlfriend putting her Chihuahua dog, Lucky, down there that particular morning cuz they were spraying for chupacabras at her place and she didn't want her precious to get any of the fumes, cuz that little dog is real sensitive to fumes, never seen anything like it...why you can open a drum of ethanol on the other side of the shed and that dog falls over, out like Ellen, real sensitive it is...anyaways, so the big critters walking along the dingdong trail Joe Billy laid out, and he was thorah, yup, every few feet a treat, but as it was, it took a whole lotta Hostess to make that trail, real nice spread it was, and as you could see, by the time that big monkey was getting to that open door, he was slowing down considerable. Just as he was reaching down for the one on the middle of the steps little Lucky comes achargin up from the bottom steps, literally goes airborne ready to do battle. But that hairy monkey done grabs him unfair and without missin a beat, stuffs that little Chihuahua dog in its mouth, bites him in half, swallas the first half, then pops in the back half like eatin a doughnut.

Right about then Joe Billy of the great north west jumps out and starts trying to close the door, but in the excitement of the moment, he forgets the door has two sides to it, so there he is trying to hold down the one side, then sees his mistake, just as that big monkey finishes up with Lucky and wants to know what's hitting him from above, and so turns and stands up, still down the steps always, but just enough so when he turns around he's pert near eye to eye with Joe Billy! Now, you shoulda seen the look on that boys face! I will never forget that expression he had...which is good, cuz Joe Billy had a heart attack right after that...seems he remembered the left over ding dongs were still in the pockets of what he had on, and what with that monkey so up close and personal, dint take it too long to figure that out itself, and well, the rest is just too hard to look back on, but needless to say, anyone that ticklish should not be pocketing pastries anywhere near a stoned monkey! Joe Billy, god rest his soul, tried his best to defend the treats and his honour, but in the end saved neither. Tragic really...So that's why we haven't tried that one again...."

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DANGED! it's a gud thing I'm here! These kinds re-ports can save lives. WEEEDOGGIE! an' jus' when I was a thinkin' I had me a shur thang too. Butt' me bein' ticklish and all I bess be con-sidr'n sum newfang'l adea. O' course never pro-curin' one of them cheewawa thingees wud prolly be a gud furst thot.   

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Guest Cryptic Megafauna

Sex, drugs, rock n roll, and Bigfoot would not be complete without a full frontal of you furry buddy.

So for your delectation I present...  (Besides it's also some of the best recent footage I never heard of).

The long white squiggly is.... Oh well and oh my! 

 

 

 

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Oh my goodness! Crypto.....this was a perfectly innocent, G rated thread, and you just have to go throw it into the gutter! LOL!

 

Guess that one's been smoking that redwoods variety "purple viagra"......

"Mok Toh get freaky when high.....(wink wink)"

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Guest Cryptic Megafauna

guyzonthropus, st least you know how BF reproduces now.

Apparently not through alien cloning or asexual reproduction or "manifestation".

The other funny thing was it was a playboy film crew with a centerfold model in the RV.

So maybe the big fella was gettin "idears".

 

Perfect add on to the cannabis meme.

 

So for those hunting for the BF perhaps having a supermodel along is the bait.

 

 

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That's why I always travel with at least one supermodel on hand, usually a second on standby, just in case.....

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