SC EP:1061 The Bernie Chronicles

[BFFbot]

Bernie writes "Wes, I'm seventy three years old now and live in the beautiful Texas hill country southwest of Austin. This is what happened fourteen years ago. It was my last night at work and I was closing up my department in Salmon Creek, at the north end of Vancouver, Washington.

My best friend called and asked if I was flying out soon. She wanted me to come by, and said she had a twelve pack of Blue Moon. "Prettiest lady I know" I affirmed as I headed toward Battleground.

We hung out for a couple hours. Her boyfriend had cheated on her and I listened to her broken heart with sympathy, and I tried to give her hope for the future. We said our hasta la vistas. I got back on I-5 north and got off at Woodland and headed up Lewis River Road. I had been living there for six weeks in a spare bedroom I was renting. It was a ways to my boss's property, on up past the fish hatchery, almost to Ariel where D.B. Cooper supposedly bailed out of that airliner, west of Mt. St. Helens. The moon was nearly full on that night of August 22, 2010, as I parked in my spot 30 feet from the forest, just off to my left. My window was down and I was listening to the radio. The Foo Fighters were playing "Times Like These." The tree frogs loudly approved and I popped open my last Blue Moon that Darcy sent home with me. I lit a cigarette, reflecting on our good times, how much I was going to miss her, and hoping our paths would meet again. Speaking of missing, I was seriously missing my two teenaged daughters that currently lived in Texas for the past six weeks.

Tomorrow was Monday, my son's 39th birthday, and I'd be in Raleigh with him Wednesday night. I had a lot on my mind.

I looked to my right scanning for life. Tina's doublewide sat on 4 acres, and was dark and silent, the front door 80 feet from me at my 3 o'clock. No signs of her sister and brother-in-law, who were notorious for wandering in the moonlight, but it was only one o'clock in the morning right now. I had another smoke and nursed my beer as it had been a very long day at work.

I couldn't believe my ears when suddenly out of nowhere, what sounded like a million birds started screaming in the forest just to my left. Every hair on my body stood out as I reached to kill the radio. This surreal cacophony went on for maybe a whole minute when I heard something that would have knocked me over had I not been sitting in my car.

I have since listened to vocalizations on YouTube and the nearest thing to what I heard was "The Ohio Sound," except that was far away and I was probably less than 100 feet away from the source here. Also there was no descending vocalization once it reached it's deafening crescendo. The force behind that howl/scream was somewhere between a really hungry lion, and a very pissed off T-Rex. Think up-close Jurassic Park. I was sitting in my old Ford Contour and my bones and organs were vibrating. I have since learned that was the result of the infrasound it produced. I was terrified and felt disoriented, also effects of infrasound.

Things have never really scared me. Hell, I'm an old guy from Texas. I'd seen lots of crazy ****, but I jus0couldn't move. I just sat there thinking someone like me might get eaten. When the roar finally peaked, the birds and frogs were totally silent; not a single peep or croak was heard, and I was still vibrating. The silence was broken by a few seconds of the sound of something moving away in the woods. There was a creek in a ravine out there about 50 yards straight ahead and I started hearing what sounded like large rocks smashing against others.

I happened to look at the front porch as Tina turned the light on and stuck her head out, looked my way, dipped back and closed the door. I figured since the beast was in the ravine, I had a chance to make a run for the house.

I was shaking when I entered, and she said I was pale and asked what was wrong. I told her I thought she had a Sasquatch in her back yard. She just laughed and laughed and laughed. I told her I was serious, but she snickered and I went to bed. It took a long time to fall asleep that night. The next day I avoided the backyard and drove into Vancouver to get my cat. I pretty much stayed in my room when we got back. The next day I sold my car to Tina's mother and stayed in my room. Wednesday, Tina drove me to Portland to fly to Raleigh.

I told my son about it after I had been there a couple days. He was intrigued, and then I put it all in a box for several years. I knew people would laugh. I wish assholes were as hard to find as Sasquatches. I never mentioned it again.

A couple months ago I started listening to podcasts, especially yours, and it's really been all consuming, but in a very beneficial way: the realization of the existence of an ancient, feral species that has no concept or need of money to survive.

They are truly free. I feel we are the newcomers here, living our lives in chains."

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