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What Would You Do With A Dead Bigfoot?


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Posted (edited)

I apologize if this has been discussed before but I didn't find a recent post. A poster on the Dyer thread asked:

I mull over what any reasonable person would really do if they had a Sasquatch body.

So, here's the scenario:

Somehow, somewhere, you stumble upon/find/discover a dead bigfoot body. Just lying there, close to where you usually hike and you are out and about fishing/squatching/hiking,whatever it is that you do outdoors and you are alone or with one other person, or whomever/however you go out. Just a usual day in the woods until THIS, "the biggest opportunity of your life". Or say one popped its' head up in front of you and you got a clean headshot because you were carrying and were in the right place at the right time.

We talk all the time about "oh, someone needs to get pix or get a body" but are any of us prepared for that possibility on a day to day basis? So, let's each of us have a plan.

Now what? What do you do with it? Be as detailed as possible.

Edited by madison5716
Posted

1 - take pictures if I have camera or cell phone.

2 - If body is too heavy to lift/carry, which it would be, hopefully have a knife on me or closeby and cut off head.

3 - If had knife, take head to nearest authorities. Police or otherwise.

3b - If no knife, call authorities and friends to come to the location. Keep vigilant incase there are others.

Money if any are secondary to the scientific significance of the discovery. Money wouldn't be a problem because I was the one to find it. My name would forever be connected to it. Movie rights, interview requests, etc.. I wouldn't need to drum up attention, I'd probably be trying to avoid it as it'd be overwhelming once proven.

Posted

Cut off one hand, foot and it's head and take it to a local guy, drop it off while no one is there. Call another guy and let him know where to find the body if he wants it and ask my name never comes up.

Posted (edited)

^ if its an adult the head would be very heavy. Getting the hand would be a good alternative.

Someone needs to do a public service announcement video for this: what to do if you find a bigfoot body.

Edited by Cornelius
Posted

I would have to think about the logistics, but one thing is sure. I would keep my mouth shut about it until I was ready to show what I have. "Nobody likes a tease" is an understatement in the bigfoot community. NOTHING makes us crazier.

Posted

Those of you that plan to cut off it's head, better start carrying axes with you, because a knife isn't going to get the job done.

I'd take a few pics, cover it with brush, leaves, or whatever I could find, & try to notify it's next of kin to come & get it.

Posted

Those of you that plan to cut off it's head, better start carrying axes with you, because a knife isn't going to get the job done.

I'd take a few pics, cover it with brush, leaves, or whatever I could find, & try to notify it's next of kin to come & get it.

And how do you know this?

Posted (edited)

I like the Gransfors Bruks hunting axe and typically carry it and a Ruger Blackhawk in .44M when I'm out and about in the woods, but I have no doubt I could cut just about anything's head off with a good knife.

Edited by Ace!
Posted (edited)

And how do you know this?

I know this because I have helped butcher animals, & I'm not stupid.

If it's a baby, you might get it done with a big knife......but if it was a baby, you could just drag it back with you.

Edited by Sasfooty
Posted

You can believe whatever you want. Knowing is something else entirely. But since you know, I can only assume you've inspected a BFs skin at point blank range. Would you say it's more of a hide, or skin like us?

Guest Luckyfoot
Posted

I read another blog where a poster said he would throw that sucker in his car and start driving down the passenger lane.

If you had enough rope and time there's all kinds of "Weekend at Bernie's" stuff you could pull.

Or you could just cart it to the nearest university....

Posted

When I'm out in Squatch country, I am never without my quad and equipment. I also, after being followed, never go alone. I used to take big bears out by building a travois out of spruce trees and am sure I could get it to the nearest road. I carry ample tarps and have a portable winch, as well as as a quad winch. Next stop is the news station. As far as disarticulating the head it can be done in moments with a small sharp victorinox paring knife. I did this recently with an adult Orang for a museum. It's a disturbing experience.

Posted

Braise in a little red wine, garlic, oregano. Serve with garlic mashed potatoes, bacon and blue cheese salad, and a nice merlot. Scotch and cigars afterwards. :spiteful:

It's been a long week and my "sick humor" level is running high. Apologies to the more serious of the group.

Posted

If the body was fresh I would consider the situation very dangerous. If I had cell signal I would dial 911 tell them I found a murder scene- get police and ambulance near the site. Then start taking pics and dumping them here. Back off and wait for backup.

Posted

You can believe whatever you want. Knowing is something else entirely. But since you know, I can only assume you've inspected a BFs skin at point blank range. Would you say it's more of a hide, or skin like us?

You won't need an axe for the skin.

Matter of fact, I have seen an arm at very close range. It just looked like a man's arm with a lot of red hair. I didn't part the hair to examine the skin, though.

Guest
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