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What Would You Do With A Dead Bigfoot?


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Braise in a little red wine, garlic, oregano. Serve with garlic mashed potatoes, bacon and blue cheese salad, and a nice merlot. Scotch and cigars afterwards. :spiteful:

It's been a long week and my "sick humor" level is running high. Apologies to the more serious of the group.

LOL....I was thinking sweat baby rays BBQ sauce and a large pit.

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I apologize if this has been discussed before but I didn't find a recent post. A poster on the Dyer thread asked:

So, here's the scenario:

Somehow, somewhere, you stumble upon/find/discover a dead bigfoot body. Just lying there, close to where you usually hike and you are out and about fishing/squatching/hiking,whatever it is that you do outdoors and you are alone or with one other person, or whomever/however you go out. Just a usual day in the woods until THIS, "the biggest opportunity of your life". Or say one popped its' head up in front of you and you got a clean headshot because you were carrying and were in the right place at the right time.

We talk all the time about "oh, someone needs to get pix or get a body" but are any of us prepared for that possibility on a day to day basis? So, let's each of us have a plan.

Now what? What do you do with it? Be as detailed as possible.

If I found a body, I would follow the SOP's that have already been discussed in the kill thread.

1) Set up security around the carcass.

2) Harvest body parts that your comfortable with cutting off and hauling out.

3) Mark the carcass location with long/lat coords.

4) Patrol out with your head on a swivel and a rear guard.

5) Once out you pick up your cell phone and speed dial the Biologist that you have already set up a relationship with.

6) Don't put all your eggs in one basket, deliver to the Biologist a body part and you keep a body part in a freezer at a undisclosed location.

As a Squatch hunter your job is done and Science picks up the torch.

We all then have a large party celebrating Sasquatch's entrance into the world of Zoology and now we can start planning on Conservation for the species.

Edited by norseman
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Bff members- just one thing I would discourage here is to call the authorities. Could be a discovery of a life time which for a fact the authorities DONOT want discovered or verified at all. As far as the media(tv stations0 well you may want any media site to sign non-copyright agreement before any disclorsure there, they will just make your life a very public outhouse without your permission.

Seroiusly I think a cellphone shot withyou in it for starts at least, then see if any relitives show up. If not then it would depend on how lucky you feel about getting caught with somebodys brothers arm or head on your person when its next of kin shows up; I might try and lift a hand and run like hell.

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Contact the nearest conservation/game warden office immediately and stay with the body until somebody comes, being very careful to get the name of the officer(s) who comes to collect the body. At that point I'd contact local media to be sure it's documented. I wouldn't want such an important find to mysteriously disappear.

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Contact the nearest conservation/game warden office immediately and stay with the body until somebody comes, being very careful to get the name of the officer(s) who comes to collect the body. At that point I'd contact local media to be sure it's documented. I wouldn't want such an important find to mysteriously disappear.

Make sure you tell them you found a poached BEAR.

If you tell them you found a dead Sasquatch? I can hear the laughter from here....

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I'll answer my own question.

First, make doubly, no triply sure it's dead and look carefully around to see if anyone else is around. Probably take a moment to puke and clean up. Then cut off a few small bits if I could and take extensive pictures, including one with me in it. Call some local researchers to come in immediately. Go sit in my car until they arrive, find my largest tarp and rope. Share pix. Go back out and decided if we are taking the body or not (if it's still there). Start making phone calls to appropriate people. Haul it back to a truck or my van and drive it to the next place - to the scientists.

If we cannot take the whole body, then take parts, if we are able.

Log and trademark my photos online, and everyone with me does the same. Video and audio tape extensively on every media piece we have. Then start uploading immediately online after the trademarks are in place... do it live and do it well. Post here obsessively, and a few other places. After the first few important people have viewed it, video taped it and done all their blood tests etc and swished that evidence to 20 different places, then call a local reporter who has done bigfoot reporting for the last dozen years and give him the gig of the century.... maybe even invite him along on the ride on condition he gets first story. Then call the press conference.... that's the first 24 hours. After that, who knows?

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One thing is for sure I hope this scenario never plays out in my life, I feel the idea that this could be the opportunity of a lifetime is a bit naive, and I dont say this to belittle anyone because there is a time when I believed that, and I might even struggle with that again being faced with this dilemma.

This is always an interesting thing to consider what one might do in a traumatic or fanciful situation. To be perfectly honest I am not sure what I would do exactly. I have learned over the years that I do not always know myself as well as I think I do, nor can I sometimes even predict with any accuracy what I might do in said situation. My mind would go into overdrive that's for sure and knowing what I know I would immediately think that the individual is missed or soon will be. If I came upon the scene first I am sure the rest of the group are not far off. Heres what I think Id do provided I didnt just strike it up as something for me to see realize I am in a lose/lose scenario and otherwise leave it well alone....

  • If I had my GPS I would first plot the location
  • A Camera I would take several Pics
  • A cutting tool, a sample of DNA, maybe a finger, hair and nails
  • Cover the body
  • I would NOT call authorities
  • I would contact a few of my very trusted people and return to the scene ASAP
  • If the subject is there still I would with my people remove more samples and take more pics trying not to desecrate the body too much
  • I would have each person fill out an sworn affidavit and I would take all the evidence and certified mail several copies to myself and the others, this gives us several sealed dated records of the events without any elses involvement
  • Then I would hide a few copies of the certified packages in a few different places
  • I would contact my attorney and decide from there where to proceed, If I wanted to go public or find independent labs willing to test the items I might do that, and thats when things would probably really get interesting.
  • Strap in :)

  • Other things to consider:
  • What is done in this scenario WILL change your life and probably not for the better
  • The chances of fame and riches are likely very slim, and is the price one pays for that worth it in the end
  • You will be made fun of regardless of the facts and truth, can you handle that?
  • Look at all the ruined lives of people who have hit the lottery and how they all seem to have the same story" If I win the lottery I wouldn't change a thing, I would be essentially the same person, just richer" yeah ok hows that working out for the lot of them. Not so well.

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For those of you that are regularly out and about hoping to get lucky, have you already forged relationships with both scientists and aides you know you could trust implicitly, should something like this ever actually happen?

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If I found a body, I would follow the SOP's that have already been discussed in the kill thread.

1) Set up security around the carcass.

2) Harvest body parts that your comfortable with cutting off and hauling out.

3) Mark the carcass location with long/lat coords.

4) Patrol out with your head on a swivel and a rear guard.

5) Once out you pick up your cell phone and speed dial the Biologist that you have already set up a relationship with.

6) Don't put all your eggs in one basket, deliver to the Biologist a body part and you keep a body part in a freezer at a undisclosed location.

As a Squatch hunter your job is done and Science picks up the torch.

We all then have a large party celebrating Sasquatch's entrance into the world of Zoology and now we can start planning on Conservation for the species.

Any questions!!!? that about sums it up

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Guest SquatchinNY

I would stand guard nearby, filming constantly. I would call, depending on where I was, Cliff Barackman, Ranae Holland, Bart C, Stan C, or Bobo. I would not call MM. I have heard this about him that discourage me from calling him.

I would tell whoever I called not to say A WORD to ANYONE else.

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