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Saskeptic, I believe you are making honest statements here, & not just messing with me, so I will continue to try my best to explain things. They don't come close to the house in the daytime. There are NO lights left on outside at night, & if there were, they wouldn't come into the light. There are trees, & brush close to the house, & they can come up, bump the house & be out of sight before we could get a light turned on outside. We don't bother anymore. It's no more uncommon than hearing a dog barking somewhere. We're here, they're here & life goes on. With a bionic ear, I can clearly hear a normal (human) conversation at least 100 yards away. He or she was nowhere near my door when I heard the talking, & I was in the bed upstairs. The only times I have heard them on the roof was at night, usually when I have been asleep & woke up hearing them. This has only happened a few times. By the time I got out of bed, stumbled downstairs, & got outside, they would be long gone. That's without bothering to find a camera & get it turned on. Not that it would be of any use in the dark. If I turned on a light in the house, they would be alerted that I was up, so I would have to do all this in the dark. You can't imagine how incredibly athletic, and fast they are. Cats are slow & clumsy compared to them. As for the "Home Alone" comment, I am going to assume that you were joking. Surely someone with your obvious intelligence doesn't think that "TV is real"? And I will willingly admit that it is far from within my means to outsmart one. Lots of people that are way smarter than me have tried & failed, so I don't think I need to be embarrassed about it. I will welcome any & all reasonable suggestions.