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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/07/2014 in all areas

  1. Wow, SweetPolly! I somehow missed seeing your post when it first appeared, but just wanted to say I couldn't agree with you more. And I can't explain it, either. But knowing and being able to explain are two different things. Rock on!
    1 point
  2. Why do you think the goal is to "learn about" BF? For me, and for many people who have ongoing experiences with BF, the goal is to be in relationship with BF. It is to learn about an individual BF person, not "the" BF -- as if there's some cardboard cutout BF character running around who represents all BF. And you cannot be in a relationship with someone if you are disrespectful to them. If someone approached you and said, "I really like you and want to be your friend," and then turned around and started taking pictures of you surreptitiously and trying to publish them somewhere to promote themselves, without your knowledge or approval, and trying to gather "evidence" about you, what would you conclude about that person? You would think he was a traitorous wretch, and you'd drop him like a hot potato. That's what BF people do to us. They drop us like hot potatoes when we act disrespectfully -- although they are a little nicer and a little more forgiving than we are. They sometimes take you back, even if you've had a run of thinking you needed to take pictures of them and scrape hairs and flesh off them. But who wants to take the chance that their particular buddy is that forgiving???? Now do you understand the reluctance? The reluctance is a reluctance to destroy any chances of furthering the relationship. Who would be foolish enough to jeopardize an ongoing -- and ever-growing -- intimacy and connection for one picture? Or one anything? You can learn about BF behavior and habits without being disrespectful. It just takes a little patience. Of course you'll figure out who's taking your stuff -- over time. But you need to give it that time -- IF you want your "subject" to stick around. And if you're really worried about being able to tell the difference between a BF and a squirrel, just do what OHZoologist did: build a platform supported by a greased pole in a clearing and then conduct the same experiments he did. Voila! No more having to make them cut their hands off trying to get at your peanut butter. (And continue to read about the platform in that thread. It was really interesting, what happened, and what OHZ concluded, after giving his experiment some, um, time.) I'm sorry, SWWASP. The same way you get impatient with "humans in habituation situations", I get impatient with "scientists". SWWASASQUATCHPROJECT: In my own case when I was zapped during an encounter, my whole purpose for being in the field that day was to have contact with BF. But after I was zapped, I felt driven to leave the area immediately. Why? I was not any more afraid than I had been other times. Why would I feel driven to leave when my whole purpose for being there was to have contact? I left the area, thought about it, and realized that what I just did was not logical, so I turned around and went back. Of course when I did, nothing seemed to be there any more. I felt like I had been manipulated. Why do you think it's okay to have contact with someone at the expense of their comfort? Contact is a two-way thing. Both parties should be receptive to it. If one isn't, for whatever reason, the other party needs to respect that and leave. The zapping seems like a pretty clear signal they were not pleased with you being in that spot at that moment. You did the right thing that day. And I don't see the manipulation you're speaking of. Seems like a very clear statement of preference you were getting that day. Nothing indirect about it! You don't lose anything by appearing to be willing to let them set the agenda. In fact, it's the total opposite. You prove your worthiness to be a true friend by so doing. You gain, you don't lose, by showing respect at all times.
    1 point
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